Category Archives: Life

January 12, 2011

Living Life to the Fullest

By harlanhobson

 

I believe most people desire to live full, meaningful lives. However, life often seems to turn into a treadmill of performance, where we do the same things over and over each day, turning even good actions into monotonous acts of repetition. If you ever feel like life is just not what it should be, here are a few tips to living life to the fullest.

 • Be thankful.

Nothing changes our outlook on life like, “counting our blessings”. Be thankful for what you do have. Be thankful for your family, your spouse, your kids, your friends, your neighbors. Be thankful for the gift of life itself. Be thankful for a place to live, for food to eat, for transportation. Do not waste time thinking about what you don’t have; be grateful for what you do have.

 • Be courageous.

Do not live your life in fear. If you have a dream, go for it. Do not allow fear of failure to stop you from trying. Do not allow people to tell you why you cannot fulfill your dream. Be courageous and live life to the fullest in spite of fear and in spite of other’s opinions.

• Be compassionate.

Kindness and love open up the hearts of those around you. If you want your life to be full of compassion, kindness and love then sow it in the life of everyone you can. As the old saying goes, “You reap what you sow”. It is easy to sow cynicism, anger, selfishness, and the like. However, life is difficult to live to the fullest, if that is what you are reaping. Live a life of sowing compassion, and then as you grow older your life will stay full, because you will be reaping the goodness of others, until your days come to an end.

• Be encouraging.

The world we live in is full of negativity and criticism. It is easy to put people down and let them know everything they are doing wrong. Don’t do it! Instead, be encouraging. Encourage everyone you meet. Support people in their life dreams. Tell people what you like about them. Let people know they are important and that they matter, their lives have meaning, and they have a purpose. Encourage, encourage, encourage! The world is full of discouragement, but those who truly live, have learned to be encouragers.

• Live for what matters.

Invest your time and energy in what is eternal. Devote yourself to building relationships. Devote yourself to faith in God.  Devote yourself to love, kindness, mercy, grace, and generosity. Possessions will pass away, but our faith in God and our investment in others can last forever.

Live for what matters!

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November 17, 2010

Vive Fidons

By harlanhobson

Vive Fidons

Powerful words. Two words that can be looked at as a command, a mission or a lifelong vision statement.

Vive Fidons

Words that can haunt or inspire when faced with impossible challenges or mundane daily living. Words that can cause you to live to the fullest: or at least make the attempt.

Vive Fidons are the words tattooed on the arm of one of the Arnold brothers – it means “Live Courageously”. These tatooed words are the reason I am writing these thoughts today.

In everyday life, what does it mean to live courageously? As a parent, a husband, a wife, an employee, a student, a teacher, a priest, a soldier, a citizen…How do we live a courageous life? I have my own ideas and concepts of what it means to live courageously. But my own ideas seem insignificant when I witness someone wrestling with life in a way I can’t comprehend or I see someone who gave their life away…courageously.

The story of Chad and Ryan Arnold continues to haunt me, challenge me, provoke me, break me.

Ryan donated part of his liver so his brother Chad could live. Then, Ryan passed away. And Chad lives on…attempting to “Live Courageously”. I read his blogs often. Why? Because Chad’s honesty about his journey is strangely refreshing, compelling and blunt. Honestly, I grow weary of hearing empty words from people who have developed life concepts and beliefs in faith, but have never truly been challenged. When, I read of the honest journey, thoughts and struggles Chad and his family are wrestling with, I want to live courageously. Why? Because, though his questions are many and the answers are few, Chad continues to have faith in God.

That is faith that is real and compels me to cry out “VIVE FIDONS”! Live Courageously.

If you want to see a picture of real life, real struggle, real faith…check Chad’s blog and read for yourself.

Vive Fidons.

http://cometoofar.com

3 comments   |  tags: , , , , | posted in Life

September 30, 2010

You Matter. God Says!

By harlanhobson

Have you ever had someone ask you a question that you just were not ready for? Maybe they asked you to do something that caught you off guard. I remember a time this happened to me. My wife, Melissa, and I had been married for a little over two years.  We were at a celebration for something, a party for someone…all those details are vague, but her request…that, I remember.

In the middle of the party, in the middle of a conversation, someone asked Melissa about one of our family members.  And my wife says, “Oh, they’re doing fine.  In fact, I have a recent picture.”  Then without missing a beat, she looks at me and asks, “Honey, will you go into my purse and get that picture?” Seems like a simple request, should be no problem. However, you should know that at this point in our relationship, I had been asked to go get her purse before; I had even been asked to carry the purse.  However, I, as a man, did not have the proper training to open the purse and find anything! In my mind, I thought you needed a degree, or special training or at least some kind of manual.

 Why was this a dilemma for me? Well, let me be honest.  As a man, I don’t know what all is in the purse, and I don’t want to know!  In addition, for my wife to ask me to retrieve something out of it caused me stress.  I immediately began to wonder… “So, how do you find something in the purse…is there a filing method? Is it organized by most used items first? Is it alphabetical? Because, one thing I do know, there is a lot of stuff in the purse; and somehow, by, what I can only assume is God Given magic female powers, out of that purse, my wife can retrieve whatever is needed, when it is needed. And, if there is something that I can’t find or I am in need of, I have learned to ask my wife, when she’s holding her purse, cause I figure “hey…you never know. “  

I first observed the mystery and the power of the purse when our first child came along. With the child came the “diaper bag.” Now the diaper bag I had no problem with.  I often carried the diaper bag; sometimes I filled the diaper bag, and took things out of the diaper bag. And… I even changed my share of diapers!

One day, we went out shopping and Melissa asked me to bring the diaper bag and make sure it had diapers.  I said “OK” and away we went. As we were shopping, a moment came in which it was evident that our little two year old needed a diaper change. We knew this because other people in the Mall began to make faces and move away from us as we walked toward them.

Melissa found a place for us to change our little one, and I did my duty to open up the diaper bag and get the diaper. However, when I opened the bag, it was empty.  And I was the one who was supposed to make sure it was stocked with diapers.

I sheepishly told Melissa of the dilemma, and let her know I was sorry. My amazing wife looked at me and said, “Oh, no problem, I think I have a spare.”

I watched with amazement as she effortlessly reached into her purse and pulled out a diaper. The emergency was thwarted and I was off the hook.

As well, I once again was in awe of the power of the “Purse”!

Ladies, this is why men do not want to get stuff out of your purse.  Besides being afraid of what’s in there, we are also afraid we will mess something up!

Here’s the point: As complex as the workings of a woman’s purse is to a man, it is nothing in comparison to the complexity of the world we live in.  And just like I honestly feel some anxiety when asked to get something out of my wife’s purse, I think we all, as humans can feel overwhelmed, even stressed at times when we experience the complexity of life and wonder…where do I fit in? We can begin to ask, “Do I even matter? Does my life even count? What is my purpose? Well, I believe there are answers to these questions, and the best place to begin is in listening and reading a thought given to us by God, our Creator.

In Jeremiah 1:5, God says: 

Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you.

Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you.

Now that is a powerful truth we all need to embrace.  God made us with a holy plan. Think about that, we are not just an accident of nature; we are a well thought out creation of Almighty God.

 No matter where you are today in your life. No matter what you think of yourself, what other people think or say about you; whether you are up, down, battling depression, struggling in a relationship, facing a mountain of impossibilities… no matter how complex your life appears…whatever is going on in you…

You Matter, simply because God created you. Your life counts; God has plans for you.

This truth can be alive in you today, simply by surrendering all you are and hope to be to the one who made you.

You Matter; God says so!

3 comments   |  tags: , , | posted in Life

August 25, 2010

Now Will Our Dreams Come True?

By harlanhobson

Just got back from vacation. Had a wonderful time. What an adventure we had as my wife and I loaded up our four children and trekked down to Florida. Moreover, what a wonderful time we had as we explored the magical kingdom of Disney World.

Having four children, it was fun to see things through the eyes of two teenagers, an eight-year-old daughter and a just-turned-six year old son.

 One of my favorite moments occurred as we watched the fireworks display at The Magic Kingdom. My six year old looked up at me and said, “Now will all of our dreams come true?”

I did not answer; I just smiled.

 I love the innocence of children. Their ability to believe and have faith is untainted by the disappointing moments in life. My son heard the announcer say at the fireworks display that all of our dreams would come true. He simply believed. What a wonderful lesson in simple faith.

I did learn some other things while I was on vacation.

One, I learned that if you are miserable, angry, and unhappy…even Disney cannot fix that. I saw many people fighting, arguing, and tearing each other down. It was sad.

Two, I also learned that the best part of my vacation was what I left with. Incidentally, it was also what I came with. I arrived at Disney with a wife who loves me, and four wonderful children who like me! I arrived at Disney with peace in my heart that comes from my relationship with God. I arrived at Disney with hope for the future that stems from my faith in that same God.

As wonderful as Disney World is – and yes, I am just a big kid when I am there – the best part of my vacation came home with me. For true happiness and genuine fulfillment is not found in where we are or what we are doing; true contentment is discovered in the relationships we have.

 I look forward to my next vacation. However, though our tour of the wonders of Disney is over, I am still smiling as I hold my wife, gaze at my children and pray to my God.

Hmmm…I guess all of my dreams did come true.

7 comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Family, Life

August 4, 2010

Give it away…

By harlanhobson

RYAN ARNOLD

I hear a lot of talk about giving our lives away. People have many causes and agendas that cry out for full commitment: giving of yourself selflessly for the sake of others. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I would say that I embrace this type of call.

I believe in living for something greater than yourself. Treating others the way you want to be treated. Nevertheless, it is easy to live life for ourselves.

But in the end…the question does have to be asked… “What did I do that mattered?” Tough question: one that I do not always want to ask myself. Much less, one I want to answer.

At times, life seems meaningful and I feel that I understand what it means to “give my life away.” Then, I hear a story. Not just any story, but a story of someone who truly gives away their life for the sake of someone else.

Just this last week, a young man by the name of Chad Arnold had gone into the final stages of liver disease. His life was coming to an end. Then, his brother Ryan decided to do something heroic. He decided to give 2/3 of his liver in order to save his brother’s life. The operation went well and was a success. Chad is in recovery and it appears his life has been saved.

However, Ryan…well, He is now in Heaven. He gave his life for his brother.

My heart is broken for the family. Moreover, I am crying out prayers from deep within for God to fill them with the peace and grace for this season that only He can bring.

At the same time, I am personally filled with some shame and conviction. I feel ashamed that I have ever acted as if I know what it means to give my life away. I am convicted that I too often choose my own comfort over the inconvenience of giving of myself.

Ryan, your life…your sacrifice is already affecting the lives of many. Your sacrifice is causing me to reassess my life, my choices and the time I have left on this earth.

Lord, be with Chad and the rest of the family.

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.caringbridge.org%2Fvisit%2Fryanandchadarnold&h=f6b38

3 comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Life

July 20, 2010

Lost

By harlanhobson

Somewhere in the pursuit of something better, it feels like we lost something.

We have the ability to talk to just about anyone on the planet from the devices we hold in our hands. Through the internet, we are connected to more information than we could read in a lifetime. We can locate any point on the Earth by pressing the “Google” button.

We can microwave a meal in a matter of minutes; wash dishes by stacking them in a rack and closing a door; and sweep our homes by turning on the automatic vacuum cleaner.

Purchase an airline ticket and be in another location in a matter of hours instead of days. Take a picture and see it instantly instead of waiting for it to develop. Press a button and a new movie appears on our television, computer or cell phone screen.

Type some letters and instantly communicate to another person or group of people. Hear a new song you like and in a matter of minutes, download it for your listening pleasure. Talk to a speaker box and someone will hand you food through a drive thru window. Slide a card, punch in some numbers and money will magically appear.

 If we are sad, pop a pill and be happy for a while. If we can’t sleep, pop a pill and snooze the night away. Sleepy the next morning? Pop another pill and wake right up.

If we are lonely, try an online dating service. If we need more friends, start recruiting on FaceBook.

We are a society who has figured out instant gratification. We know how to press a button and get what we want. But do we really know what we want? And what is the price we have paid for our instant world we have created.

As much as I enjoy the convenience provided to us by modern technology, I still have to ask: In all of our advancement, could it be that we have left behind what is most important? Could it be that we have sold that which is priceless, to gain that which is convenient?

For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? Matthew 16:26

Excuse me while you think about that…I have to go make a call, send a text, Google an address, update my blog, reprogram my phone, check my FaceBook, download a new song and program my DVR to record my favorite show…

2 comments   |  tags: , , , , | posted in Life

July 14, 2010

See You on the Stage

By harlanhobson

Life is strange sometimes.  Just when you think you have it all figured out…the script changes. Like a play in which you have rehearsed your role but suddenly find that all of the other actors are improving: so you have to join in.  The show must go on. The unexpected takes place. Tragedy makes an unwelcome appearance on the stage of existence and the script has to be rewritten. New actors appear, sometimes uninvited, and you have to rewrite the dialogue in order to include them.

 Again…the show must go on.

You stop and ask…who’s directing this strange play?  Am I?  My friends?  My relatives?  My spouse? My Boss?

I keep making choices, so am I the director? But are my choices simply reactions to what the other actors are doing?  Am I following the right script? Who did these rewrites?  Wait…is it time to improv again? 

Then the scene changes, and more actors appear.  But the script they are using doesn’t sound like the one I was just in.  This feels like a different play all together. New director? Maybe. But who is it?  Who is controlling the action on the stage?  I thought I was, but I couldn’t be.  I would not write this.  But I must read my lines, play my part.  The show must go on.

The show sometimes makes me tired.  It feels that each scene requires a different role.  But I am just one actor. Sometimes all of the other actors behave as if they are the directors.  Could they be?  Could I be reading the script they wrote for me.  If so…it does not feel right.  But, my improvs and rewrites aren’t much better.

Oh wait…now I hear the voice.  It must be the director.  He just said, “Cut”.  Good time for a break. He’s motioning to me. I think He wants to talk to me.  Just a minute, the show will have to wait.  The director wants some time with me.  I’ll be right back.

Ok…how long was I gone? It felt like hours and just for a moment.  But, I am ready to get back on the stage.  The director assured me that He wrote the script and He is directing all of the action. There are many who are trying to rewrite what He wrote for me, but as long as I listen to His direction…the show will go on. He told me not to worry.  He has it under control.  Just do my best with the lines He has given and He’ll keep directing me into the next scene. Some scenes feel like a tragedy; some like a comedy. There is even some action, mystery and romance. But he weaves them all into the story He has written for my life.

He also said not to worry if the other actors seem to go off script, because they have their own.  Some of them are listening to the director and some are not.  What is important, He said, was that I love them, treat them well, and follow the script…or scripture He has given me.  Keep inviting them into the play I have written He told me. 

So, off I go into the next scene of life. So glad the Director has it all under control. Oh wait, I think He’s calling you.  Go ahead, listen to what He says; He wrote the script and makes it all make sense.

See you on the stage.

5 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , | posted in Life

June 23, 2010

Love…So, Who’s Afraid?

By harlanhobson

Perfect love casts out fear… 

It is amazing to me how one simple phrase can carry such power and challenge me so much. 

Perfect love cast out fear…

If you asked me if I am a person who loves…I would say, “Yes”.

If you asked me if I love people, I would answer, “Absolutely”.

Of course I love people.  Of course I want the best for others. Of course I want to forgive and grant people a second chance. Of course I want to show kindness. Of course I want to show love through my actions and my words.

Then…why does love so often escape me in the moments I need it most?

Why when I should offer forgiveness do I find myself wanting to judge?

Why when I should offer compassion do I find myself callous and cold?

Why when I should offer understanding do I find myself being critical?

Maybe it’s because, if I’m honest with myself, often I am afraid.

Afraid of being too vulnerable; afraid of being hurt; afraid of giving someone love when they don’t deserve it. Afraid…If I truly surrender all and love unconditionally that I will somehow lose some of who I am.

Then there are those words… “Perfect Love cast out all fear”.  So what is perfect love? 

This phrase comes from a passage of scripture in the Bible which reads…

15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 19 We love, because He first loved us. 20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also. 1 John 4:15-21 NASU

Maybe I struggle with showing love because in and of myself, love is not perfected.  Maybe perfect love can only exist when I surrender to the one who made love…the one who is love; the one who gave His life to prove love.

The more I understand God’s love for me the less fear I have in loving others.  He showed the way in giving His all for me…for you.  For this I love Him…and because of this…I am not afraid…and because I am not afraid…I can love.

Perfect love casts out all fear

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June 18, 2010

Random Thoughts on Dadhood

By harlanhobson

In honor of my father and in retrospect of being a dad, these are random words and phrases that captured my thoughts.

Smiles and frowns

Bumps and bruises

Lessons learned; lessons taught

 Incomprehensible love; unbearable heartache

 Asleep in the back seat; Awake at the wheel

Asleep in his arms; asleep in my lap

Diapers…

Late nights; early mornings

I love you dad; I love you too

Little hugs; slobbery kisses

 Remembering; Forgetting; Forgiving; Missing

Hopes and dreams; disappointments and heartache; hopes and dreams again

Unscheduled fun

Doctors visits; Dentist appointments; retainers; braces; an uninsured smile

Baseball; softball; soccer

Music He likes; Music I like; Music my kids like; Music we all like

Playing guitar; Playing piano; Playing together

Winning moments; painful losses

Homework he don’t understand; Homework I can’t comprehend; Homework that doesn’t get done

Learning to ride a bike; teaching to ride a bike; learning first aid

Christmas morning

Going anywhere with dad; going anywhere with my kids

Children’s movies

 Legos and tinkertoys… x-box and the wii

The little Rascals; Gilligan’s Island; The Brady Bunch – Dora the explorer; Spongebob; Hannah Montana

Teenagers; cell phone; texting; internet

Learning to drive; patience; dents; insurance

Dating; first impressions; broken hearts; crushes; first loves; a father’s hugs

Behavioral training; attitude adjustments; being grounded

Money saved; money spent…money spent… money spent

Vacations

Time lost; time found

School programs; music recitals

 College; Careers; Marriage; Kids

Life decisions

Praying together; Church together

Learning what matters most; realizing what doesn’t matter

Learning to cherish every moment, before the moments are gone.

Happy Father’s day dads.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , | posted in Family, Life, Seasonal

June 9, 2010

Give Me My Chicken!

By harlanhobson

He looked me in the eyes.  I looked back. He licked his lips as he stepped closer.  I moved to the other side of the couch, and turned away.  When I turned back, he had disappeared. Then…

As quickly as I could turn around, IT was gone. My perfectly grilled piece of chicken had vanished…and so had he…our dog Shiloh.

A perfectly grilled piece of chicken is one of the things I look forward to in the summer.  I love to grill and I love chicken.  I have learned the art of marinating; using just the right amount of heat; timing the turning of the chicken at just the right time. And when it is done…the flavor is magnificent and the meat is tender. Unfortunately, Shiloh our dog also appreciates my grilling skills!

Like a tasty piece of grilled chicken, most things worth having in life require an investment of time, practice and dedication. And nothing hurts more than when you have invested yourself into something worthwhile, only to have it stolen, lost, or destroyed.  A piece of chicken can easily be replaced; but what about the things that really matter, like…relationships?

There may be no greater pain than investing your emotions, heart, soul, energy and all that you are into a relationship only to have it end. We have all felt that sting.  It can cause our hearts to be guarded and full of suspicion.  It can make us leery of any and all relationships. It can cause us to hold up bitterness and unforgiveness as heroic symbols of our pain and loss. It can keep us from trusting anyone ever again.

In the moment of greatest loss, pain, self-denial and suffering, Jesus cried out, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” His closest followers had betrayed and abandoned Him. He was alone on the cross, giving all He had for all mankind, including the very ones who betrayed Him, left Him, and falsely accused Him.

His words in that moment could have been a diatribe of insults and accusations towards all who had put Him there. But instead, he once again did what few of us could do.  He looked past the pain of the moment and into the power and hope of the future.  His life was being given for us to have life; but even while he was giving His life away, he did not hold anything against those who brought Him his present pain.  Instead, he chose to love.

What an example.

May the pain of relationships lost cause us to be more like Jesus instead of being trophies of suffering that we keep as reminders to keep others at a distance.  God, help us to forgive and try again.

One last thing…if anyone has seen my dog Shiloh, please send him home, because that’s my piece of chicken he’s holding in his mouth. Father, forgive Him!

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